Joining Little League® was a natural fit for my family. Some of my fondest childhood memories are from being on a baseball diamond with my dad in the dugout. I live for that experience. So, when I had two sons of my own, getting back to Little League just felt natural.
My coaching experience started with my older son, but I eventually spent time as either a manager or assistant coach for both of my boys in Little League, basketball, and flag football. The decade I spent coaching my sons and watching them move up through the levels of play taught me so much. At the same time, I was building my career as a sportswriter. The shared moments on the diamond with my sons and the lessons I learned from the players and families I worked with each season ultimately led to my weekly sports parenting column, “Ask Coach Steve,” with USA Today, which offers tips for parents and athletes as they navigate the world of youth sports.
What began as an opportunity to share a game I loved with my sons became an experience that shaped not only my career, but who I was as a father. My favorite moments from my sons’ Little League years had nothing to do with the wins and losses I experienced as a coach. Instead, I remember drives home filled with conversations about sportsmanship as they both wrestled with what they could have done differently to prevent a tough loss. I remember helping them work through disappointment and adversity. My one son was never selected to an All-Star team during his Little League years, but he persevered, and he is now playing at the collegiate level. Teaching them patience and rewarding them for good sportsmanship far outweigh the final score being in your favor at the end of a game.
For parents watching from the stands, my advice is to keep it fun and let them compete. I think back to the times where I would say too much to the hitter who was up to bat instead of letting them figure the situation out for themselves. Those are the moments that we don’t realize could be life lessons if we just let them experience it. Letting a kid work through a challenge or a failure can help them better understand the purpose and benefits of the sport they are playing. We can help guide them through that process from afar. One day, they will look back and realize the lesson they learned in that moment has been carried with them into their adult years. So let your kids compete. Let them make decisions. Let them work through those difficult moments. Let them fail. Sit back, watch, and enjoy the chance to watch your kids play.
For the parents who step onto the diamond as a coach, my advice is two-fold. First, as a parent, be open with your kids and allow them to express themselves about what they need from you as both a parent and as a coach. If you just go to the field and yell at them and tell them what they are doing wrong, even if they have success, it will still be a frustrating experience that could lead them to quit.
My second piece of advice is to have an open mind with every kid on the team. It’s not just your experience or your kid’s experience. It’s about every child on that team. Give every player your attention. Give every player opportunity to prove themselves, because even a small moment of success can go a long way to give them the confidence they need to come back next season. Little League is meant to be an inclusive environment where everyone can get something out of it whether they are the star on the team or someone trying it out for the first time, and it takes the coaches to help create that environment.
After years of coaching, raising two sons, writing about youth sports, and talking with families, I always come back to one idea – keep youth sports about the kids. That is a perspective that is lost in today’s youth sports climate as parents push their kids to specialize in a sport and apply a ton of pressure to be great.
Last year, I interviewed two-time MLB All-Star Todd Frazier, who competed in the Little League Baseball World Series himself back in 1998, and he said, “no one’s getting scouted at 12-years-old.” At the Little League level, our job is to give kids the opportunity to play, learn, experience failure and success, and just enjoy being a kid.
Those are the experiences my sons and I were lucky enough to share through Little League, and they are the experience I hope families continue to find on Little League diamonds for generations to come.
In addition to writing a sports parenting column (“Ask Coach Steve”) for USA Today, Stephen Borelli is also the author of “Coach Steve’s Youth Sports Survival Guide,” a collection of his sports parenting columns.
The story above is shared as part of Little League’s #LLProudParent content series, sharing first-person reflections on their experiences with their child in the Little League program. Have a story you’d like to share? Feel free to share it, along with any photos that help tell the story, to [email protected].
More Little League Proud Parents:
- “Our Last 12-Year-Old Season,” By Jessica Mendoza, U.S. Olympic Softball Gold Medalist and ESPN Analyst for the LLBWS
- “That’s the Beauty of Little League®,” by Josh Rawitch, President of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum
- “Little League® is Where it All Started,” By Dusty Baker, Former MLB Manager